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Kellner's Contract Named
Posted by Ernest Miller on Thursday, May 02 @ 23:31:36 EDT Copyright
As LawMeme discussed previously (Top Ten New Copyright Crimes), Jamie Kellner, chairman and CEO of Turner Broadcasting (an AOL Time Warner company), was interviewed by [INSIDE] on the future of television (Content's King). In the interview, Mr. Kellner said some very interesting things, including claiming that watching broadcast television engages the viewer in a contract:
[Ad skips are] theft. Your contract with the network when you get the show is you're going to watch the spots. Otherwise you couldn't get the show on an ad-supported basis. Any time you skip a commercial or watch the button you're actually stealing the programming. [emphasis added]
Jim Tyre, attorney and co-founder of Censorware.net, held a contest to determine what these contracts should be called:

HONORABLE MENTIONS
(in no particular order):

StareMaster Agreement - Jim Willcox

Habeas Corneas - Chris Clarke

Broadcasters' Advertising Receptacle Form (BARF) Contract - Alex Macgillivray
(Full disclosure, Alex recently bought Jim Tyre food, but no way, no how would Mr. Tyre let that influence such an important decision.)

Blinkwrap contract - J.S. Tyre
(Chosen by Ernest Miller)

AND THE WINNER IS:

Contract of ADhesion - Seth Finkelstein

Mr. Tyre wishes to thank one and all for participating in his little contest of pithiful skill. It being his contest, he chose the winners, using whatever arbitrary and capricious standards mused him. LawMeme thanks Mr. Tyre for permitting us to post the results of his contest.

UPDATED 1455 ET 03 May 2002

There have been some late entries:

Prof. Michael Froomkin of the University of Miami School of Law (and the highly recommended ICANNWatch) offers:

wishwrap

dreamwrap

inyourdreamswrap

thismanisondrugswrap

IflunkedlawschoolwhichiswhyIamhandingyouthisrap

{fill-in- w/-4-AngloSaxon=letters-of-your-choice}wrap

void for lack of meetings of the minds and mutal intent to be bound contract

David Bolduc of Stumpf Craddock Massey & Pulman offers:

Continence Clause

Depends Clause

AOL/Time Warner Catheter Clause

"We Sold It - You Hold It" Clause

Commercial Auto-Indenture

Couch Potato Codicil

The Castiron Bladder Doctrine

The Rule in Smelly's Case

Restroom Felony Prevention Provision

Contract of Constipatory Ad-hesion (of which a violation would be Constipatory Breach)

 
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Related Links
· Top Ten New Copyright Crimes
· Turner Broadcasting
· AOL Time Warner
· [INSIDE]
· Content's King
· Censorware.net
·  Michael Froomkin
· University of Miami School of Law
· ICANNWatch
· David Bolduc
· Stumpf Craddock Massey & Pulman
· More about Copyright
· News by Ernest Miller


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